The Three-Second Move That Boosts Confidence and Calms Any Conversation

What's in this episode

Have you ever wondered why absorbing other people’s emotions seems to drain your energy, and yet rarely solves the problem at hand? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re diving into the real reason “feeling their pain” might actually be holding you back, and I’m sharing a simple, tactical move that works better and keeps you in control. I’m Tim Newman, your host, a recovering college professor turned communication coach. Through years of working with clients, students, and teams, I used to believe that being a great communicator meant soaking up everyone else’s emotions. I’d match their energy, carry their stress, and walk away completely depleted and still facing the same challenges. Sound familiar? It took me a long time and guidance from negotiation expert Chris Voss to realize that this approach was not only exhausting, it was also ineffective. In this episode, we explore the difference between emotional empathy where you feel what others feel and get swept away by it and tactical empathy, which is all about understanding others’ emotions without losing yourself in them. You’ll hear how Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, used tactical empathy to defuse