My Adult Child Says I Traumatized Them: What Should I Do?

What's in this episode

Send us a message Episode 228: My Adult Child Says I Traumatized Them: What Should I Do? When your adult child says you traumatized them, it can feel like a judgment on your entire history as a parent. You may feel confused, defensive, ashamed, angry, or desperate to explain what really happened. But the word trauma does not automatically mean you were an abusive parent or that everything you did was wrong. Your adult child may be trying to describe a painful event, a repeated family pattern, or years of feeling unheard, criticized, emotionally unsafe, or unable to be themselves. In this episode, Tina Gosney explains how to respond when your adult child says they experienced childhood trauma. You will learn how to listen without immediately defending yourself, how to understand the difference between big-T trauma and little-t trauma, and how your own childhood experiences may affect the way you hear your child’s concerns. This episode is for parents who are asking questions such as: “Did I traumatize my child?” “Why does my adult child blame me for their problems?” “What should I say when my adult child criticizes their childhood?” “Can I repair the relationship with my adult child